What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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