He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
