My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
