Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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