why didn't you poke me back
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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