Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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