I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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