nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
