does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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