I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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