Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Apparently you make a good broom.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
