i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
