I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
