I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So much rum. So many feels.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
