he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
is it fun? or sober?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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