great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We are all done wearing pants today
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
