I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
