Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
