Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
