I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
