I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
