We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
