im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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