i barfeds in our rink
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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