Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
