I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
