I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
