the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
