I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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