I'm jealous of your bromance
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
