Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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