lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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