just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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