Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
