My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
