She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
