Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you would pick up someone in the library
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Randomize
