I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
