Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
this just has baby written all over it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
