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Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
