she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
