You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
