You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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