At least make sure they are 18
Why
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
