your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
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