Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
