week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
