Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
