I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
