I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
